When I thought it couldn't get any worst

I had the scariest thing happened today.

I fell asleep in the car. I was in the fetal position.

When I got up, I felt dizzy.

Entering elevator I was fine, slight pins and needles.

By the time I got to the second floor, I had no feelings in my leg below the knees. I

was so scared. I had no idea what was going on. I had this overwhelming fear of falling.

With a derby gal, there is no fear of falling.

I went into my PT appointment, and I went through all kinds of tests to see what it could have happened.

They are figuring it was a pinched nerve in my spine.

My legs still feel like they have lotion on them. Heavier feeling on my right side then my left.

All this after I was told by my pain management doctor, that all we are doing now is treating symptoms.

I was told I would never get better. There is no magic pill to cure me, no surgery to heal me. This may even be the best I would ever get.

I still refuse it accept that. I will get better or die trying.


- Christian

Fail

Okay. I swear now that I will start my exercise routine tomorrow. I mean, I am going to physical therapy tomorrow, and I'll be able to get stuff done. Today I all I did was go to class. I cleaned a little, but nothing to raise my heart rate. I'm so just pissed at myself. I need to get on track, on the ball, and get everything done.


- Christian

One of those days.

Did you ever have one of those days were everything right?

This this morning, I woke up late. I couldn't find my calculator. When I finally started to drive, there was a commercial on the radio about sports injuries.

Which I when I change the station creep was on by Radiohead . It has as a verse which states:

I don't care that hurts, I want to have control, I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul. That right there is exactly what I want to achieve . Tired the pain. I was sleeping in all the time. I want to have my life back. Tired of all this.

As I drive down class, I have no idea how this blog is going to turn out.

It's just me ranting in a car car. Amused people looking at me as I jab dictation button many many times.

As soon as I get him. I'll be checking out the Penn medicine website. See if I can be a candidate. This hopefully this will work and I'll be able to return to my daily life.


- Christian

Location:Esch St,Townsend,United States

Switch gears.

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I was just diagnosed with Diveritculosis and stress related illnesses.

Today's the last day of rest. This my final Sunday to sit around the house and do nothing.

Tomorrow starts a whole new workout regime. Well, until I start working again.

I can't wait until I start seeing results of this aging body. To force making it do what I want right now.

I'm used to being the athlete.

Someone I can do anything, and everything in the blink of an eye.

I can barely get up and walk without pain.

Pain.

Pain has encompassed every aspect of my life.

I get winded making the bed. Walking upstairs is a challenge. I'm tired of the bed rest. It is making me weak.

Tomorrow I start swimming laps. Swimming laps is a low impact exercise. I'm able to do by myself.

I need to get strong so I can pass my paramedic physical.

I'm hoping to return, very soon, to my volunteer fire company.

I just need out of this house.

The only other thing that is requiring time of me is school.

I can work with that.


- Christian