You are kidding me? Right?

Today just sucked.

I'm getting ready to have another attack. My neck and low back are killing me. I have to get it together and make my appointments. Plus, Rukus is acting really strange. He's only acted this way right before and attack, and when I was pregnant.

I'm so tired lately. Thou when I go to lay down to get some rest, I feel like running a marathon. It hurts to take deep breaths.

I need to get a plan together with my doctors in order to get my butt back into shape.

I was looking at old photos of me, and I lost myself somewhere. No wonder everyone says I miserable. I am pissed off everyday. I don't know why. I guess it's the whole thing is connected to my weight.

I'm restricted in movement. I have to hold my breath to tie my shoes. I'm just so frustrated.

Enough is enough.

I gotta change.

I didn't leave, I just changed perspectives

I'm at my all time high since 2006. I currently weight in at 191.5 lbs.

You may ask, What happened?

I have been very sick again. I am easily becoming dehydrated. Which in turn constipates me. All of these issues inflames my GI tract/issues.

Plus, I got some really bad news. I have another tumor on my vocal cords. It's was a blow I did not see coming.

I have been depressed secondary to the trauma of the car accident a year ago. The tumor pushed me over the edge. I spent almost of the summer indoors. I stopped doing everything.

In 3.5 hours will be starting over. I will be taking my before shots and using my fitness pal to track my progress. My name is scribbles412. I invite you join me. If you are I. The neighborhood stop by and do p90x with me.

As of 9/14, I with have my upper GI pro formed. And 9/19, I will be trying out for the Penn Jersey She Devils. This will be my sixth year of roller derby. I will be blogging my progress on my s8 life on 8's blog.

Please don't let me fail. Any encouragement is welcomed.

Stay strong and be safe.