Day one, again.

I'm going back to roller derby as of Thursday. I was a better firefighter; a better EMT; and a MUCH better mother when I played. Roller Derby also gives our family something to work towards. I am lucky enough to have 3 men to love and support me. We all participate in my derby. I play, they cheer. My son loves making posters, doing appearances, and even signing a few autographs.

Instead of eating my worries; I will be beating the crap out of myself (and a few close friends).

Follow me on fitocracy.com and myfitnesspal.com

My user name is scribbles412.

If I can't kick start it this time. I give up. I will just take what left of my broken life.


@scribbles412

Survival of the fittest

A lot of stuff been happening in my house.

I was doing really well. Dug ourselves out of debt. We were finally able to save a little bit. We went to convention. Hell, I even hit the 180's with my diet and exercise.

Today, I finally got assistance with healthcare. Now, I'm worried about the mortgage.

My husband after six years has lost his job. I guess I put too much faith that he would be a provider. It's been four weeks since he lost it.

I have been working a lot. I'm doing 56 hours a week with one job, and 36 with the other. I was hospitalized for exhaustion last Sunday. My body finally failed me. It started with shin splints; Then leg cramps; and it ended in a mild heart attack.

I am very tired.

I can't sleep.

My life is a train wreck.

We are waiting to see if my husband could possibly be eligible for unemployment. He has applied a few places, but nothing has happened, yet. I have another interview tomorrow. I'm hoping for this one. It could save our house, and quite possibly our marriage.

I love my husband, but I have to protect my boys. He needs to get more proactive. I cannot have him acting like he's on vacation.

The day he came home told me he lost his job. I got up; updated my resume; and got hired at three different places.

He, on the other hand, went to careerbuilder and put in a couple of resumes. He just not worried where we will be in the upcoming months.

Me?

I'm planning for survival.

Day one.

Of course, I'm not follow through with my promise.

Here I am at midnight again. I'm exhausted, and watching the bad girls club reunion. I have to be at work tomorrow at eight am. If I go to sleep now I still won't be holding myself to the promise I set for myself.

I promise myself to:
Get 8 hours of sleep a night.
Eat healthier.
Get my family more active.
Exercise at least 20 minutes a day.

Wish me luck. I'm going to need every ounce.

Let's try this again.

Just like many diets, I have failed again. I have tried to do a couple of things at once. The fad diets have got me up to 191.3. I was just 140lbs in 2009. Then last year, I did get down to 165lbs.

With me quitting roller derby, my health issues, and these fad diets; I have thrown all my routines down the drain.

I have got to do something. I have a before and after photo. The left-side of the picture is my post roller derby body. The picture on the left was taken tonight.

I am not happy with what I have become. I have stressor to the left and right of me. My husband was in a serious car accident, I had an abnormal blood test, now my husband has lost his job. We are not homeless, yet. My mind has stopped thinking all together. I am just going through the paces.

I wish we could just catch a break. Well, I can't control everything in my life. But, I CAN control what I do.

I'm going to try this again. They say exercise relieves stress. I will make it a point to log my days.

I will be using:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/scribbles412

http://www.fitocracy.com/scribbles412

http://www.sparkspeople/scribbles412

Please, follow me! Encourage me! I need all the help I can get.

Well tomorrow will be the start of a new day.