I figured out why I am so obcessed with these two.

I came to the conclusion why I am so obsessed with the Tenth Doctor and Rose Tyler. I can identify myself in Rose. Rose is a lost little girl without a father. My father was in my life, but we were working class/military family so I never really had him in my life growing up. The Doctor reminds me of my first love.


I miss him everyday.

What I wouldn't do to just have him in my life again.

My soul has been forever broken. He was the most wonderful/childish/adventurous man I have ever met. He didn't mind being silly. Laughing at the stupidest things, or doing the stupidest things to make me smile.

I knew deep in my heart this love was not going to be permanent one. One the universe would not allow.

One reason I never tried to tie him down.

He was taken when I met him. We remained "private" friends throughout high school. He saw me with my boyfriend, and he with his girlfriend. Whenever I would look in his direction; our eyes would meet. There was always a longing in his clear, blue eyes. The kind of look that spoke volumes of love and longing just to be in each others arms.

We both knew we were too young to be serious. I was going to college, and was going to work in print media.

If I only never then what I know now...

I would have threw all the high-school bullshit away. Michael is no longer on this earth, but I do see him in my dreams. Those night he comes into my dreams the butterflies come back. I feel warm and safe. All the dangers of this world are forever suspended in time. I also don't sleep the next night.

For, I still mourn for this man. I don't think my current husband realizes how much I do mourn him.  It's beyond weeping. My eyes are bloodshot. I cry until the tears stop coming. This man was my life, my world.

I have flashbacks back to the time we both walked the earth. I wish I could freeze time in that moment. When I didn't have a care in the world.

We I looked forward to what new adventure was next.

When I could wait to see his smile.

I will see that smile again.

One day.....even if it in just a dream.

Hopefully, it will be the dream when I take my final sleep.

LO
VE
The Lazy Housewife

“No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.” George Bernard Shaw