I feel like such a failure.
I won't have anything for my kids for Xmas this year. We have been really struggling lately.
My best friend just asked me if I need help shopping. I tried to tell her politely no thank you, but she just kept pressing the issue. I mean, just today, we had to get an emergency drop of oil. Now by the time we pay the mortgage, the electric we will have nothing left for Xmas.
Yes, we don't HAVE to participate in Xmas, but my mother made sure we had everything. With the tumors reappearing and my husband having and appendicitis, we have really screw ourselves.
How do you tell you child, "I'm sorry we just couldn't do it this year?" I was able to get them some clothes.
If you don't know by now. I'm an EMT and firefighter. I took a year of service to help my fellow man. Just because the job market is not there.
Lately, I have had to console loved ones who lost family member, so before their time. But what is eating at me is I feel I'm drowning. I just can't kick hard enough to keep myself afloat.
There are other problems and I'm just eating everything in sight to try and quell this nervous hopelessness.
I'm 193.
I hate myself.
Don't hate yourself! That's not good! Ask for help girl! Isn't there some kind of assistance you can get? What about your hubs? Is he working? Your children should understand regardless. Just tell them you're having a delayed Christmas. Remember, it's not about the gifts. It's about family. Hang tough
ReplyDelete