Five question Friday

Completely stolen from: 

http://fivecrookedhalos.blogspot.com/2012/12/five-question-friday-121412.html

Questions for Friday, December 7th:

1. If you bake during the holidays, what is your favorite thing to make?
 I love to bake.  I make everything from brownies, cookies,  pies, cheesecakes.  But the sad part is; I am a diabetic; and I can  eat any of them.  So,  a good majority of my baked goods are given to my friends and family.
 
2. Present giving: Gift bag vs wrapped box?

  That depends on what is and who it is for.    If the present is for an older child, I tend to use a wrapped box and duct tape.   I make sure every corner of every covered in duct tape.  Doing this creates about 30 minutes of entertainment; while the older child is trying to remove the duct tape the safest way possible.   They are tried to return the favor many times.   Only to watch me open the box easily; because, I have a knife or if the box open with my teeth.  If it is for a child that is under two years old; it is always wrapped in a gift bag.  Ah.  The joy of watching a toddler take each piece of tissue paper and play with the contents of the bag; while throwing the toy and/or gift to the side.   Again, simple amusement for the whole family to watch.
 
3. What do you keep your thermostat on during the winter/summer in your house?

  I am totally a cheapskate.  During winter, the thermostat is set to 62 degrees Fahrenheit.    during the summer months, we do not have central air.  So, I  only allow one window unit to run a time.   My family for some reason believes that the temperature fairy comes out, and pays our bill.  It is hard to make sure that we are using energy efficiently in this house; because,  I am surrounded by penises.  And not a good way,  like a gang bang porn.  I am the only vagina in this house.  Even the dogs and small animals have penises.  And you know for sure, they are not thinking what the top head.   Their instinct is to always remain comfortable.  One summer they made us also comfortable, I received an electric bill  of $575.39 for....... ONE MONTH!

 After that last bill I decided that I would be called  the keeper of the thermostat.  Even throughout the a heat wave over the summer, the highest our bill was $370.   I do not care if we were sweating worse than a whore in church over the summer.  I was able to maintain our budget at all costs. 


4. When thinking of your "Christmas to-do list" what percentage "done" are you?

  I am only 5% done my "Christmas to do"  List.  I got the tree up it should count for something.    I am hoping that lights and decorations will be on it tomorrow.  I hope with how Saddam before the end of the weekend.  Last year we waited for Christmas you to put everything up.   Let us just say the kids were really, really bad last year, and we are actually thinking of skipping Christmas.  

 

5,  Do you do the "Elf on a Shelf"? If so, is your Elf naughty and what shenanigans has he gotten into?
   
 Yes, we do the "elf on the shelf."  My husband got them as a joke for my teen son a few years back.  My son actually name to Mr. pillow pants. That was a reference to Kevin Smith's movie Clerks II.  Because, I would rather you watch all the yummy goodness of that movie I am not explain the meaning of Mr. pillow pants,  and why it is so funny.  See, in my house,  if you do not believe you do not receive.  I do not care if you are eight or 80 years old. Santa will always live my house.  Some of things we made this for Elf do last year,  is somewhat disturbing even by my  standards.   This year, of course,  we cannot do the things we did last year.   We have a very impressionable three-year-old.  So they share Mr. pillow pants not be hanging out the Barbie strip club,  drink in the beers in the fridge, or attempting a panty raid. Do not worry.  Mr. pillow pants of the ventures will be documented at the blog remaining days left before Christmas.  I will be reading the story tonight and his father will put him in a toddler appropriate situation.  That is one thing I love that my family, we have the best since humor.   Even if you do not have kids, the off on a shelf can be hours entertainment for your sick, sick mind.  Hell, kidnap your nephews or nieces Elf on the shelf, and holding for ransom.   Take a bunch of instagrams  of Dorothy or Rocky whatever the hell your nieces and nephew named it.   Taking the places that that thing will never see until the child turns 15 years old.  Have fun.  Laugh, and have the best freaking Christmas or holiday......or Hanukkah......or whatever the hell you worship .......Kwanzaa.......Yule.  You have one turn to this life.......make it count.

LO
VE
The Lazy Housewife

“No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.” George Bernard Shaw