On November 11, I found a letter saying I had a 24 mm mass on my thymus.
November 11th is significant because it's my aunt's birthday that past away from leukemia five years ago.
This paper had been stuffed away in an envelope for over a year and boom I find it on the fifth anniversary after my aunts passing.
Ok.
Let's go back a year.
On September 7th 2009, I had just been released from Kent general hospital. I had just given birth to my son, Chase.
We rushed up to Manor Care, on Foulk road in Wilmington, to let my father in law meet his grandson.
My father in law actively dying from end stage cancer. He had caught the cancer late in life, and is had metastasized throughout his body. There was no point of origin for his cancer.
I chose not to have the newborn baby go into nursing home. His immune system was already low from the tempestuous pregnancy, He also had jaundice three days after birth. I stayed by the car while my husband took my father in law back to his room.
My husband was scattered-brained, and locked the car. So I waited by the car.
The next thing I knew, I had a wave of pain wash over me. It was hard to breath. I tried to sit on the curb, but I was suddenly dizzy and fell. I landed on my back. Clutching my newborn and crying. I realized I couldn't make a sound.
It seemed like forever before my husband came out and saw me. I don't know what was worst the pain in my chest or the extreme cold of the wet grass.
Sal was in slow motion, as I was screaming and crying without making a sound. He scooped the baby up, and I blacked out.
I woke up in the emergency fast track.
They put the leads on me.
They all stared at the machine.
Then after a couple of minutes the young doctor pulled the leads, and said well that's not it.
While I was out, they had given me an IV. They must have done blood cultures because they put me in a room to observe me on the cardiac monitor.
I was breathing erratically. My respiration rate was 34. They decided to do a CAT scan of my chest to try to get answers. In order to make sure that I laid still they doctors gave me dalaudin and xanax cocktail. I was out again.
Next time, I woke up it was four am. The hospital had briefed Sal on following up with my PCP, and it was of great importance that I do so.
I didn't have any other symptoms. So I figured it was the stress of the baby and all. Plus, I never got any paperwork to give to my doctor for the followup.
Back to 11/11.
I was cleaning out my book bag that I hadn't used in just out at year. I don't remember ever seeing that stack of papers in there before. I have been lugging that book bag around for the last couple of months; because, I was looking for time to start my knitting back up.
I was on shift at my job at Transcare.
We had stopped in a parking lot to stage for the next run.
I had just finished knitting a hat. I had nothing else to occupy my time so I picked through my bag.
What was this? Four pages?folded in half twice? I opened it and read it. I wanted to throw up.
I cried.
My partner said he was sorry.
For what. I'm still not sure.
I called my PCP for that follow up.
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